How to Be There After a Loss

By: Schilling Funeral Home & Cremation
Monday, August 15, 2022

One of the best ways to help, comfort, and support someone going through a loss is simply being there for them, as losing a loved one and going through their service at a funeral home in Amboy, IL will never be easy.  

Here are some ways you can be there for someone suffering from a loss. For example, be as normal as possible. They might be sad, but they can still talk about the weather, share jokes, get hungry, need alone time, need to be pushed out of their shell at times, cheer on their sports team, care about politics or the environment or what’s going on in the gossip columns. Treating them normally will show them respect and love in a meaningful way. 

Be available and be gentle. They might need help, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to at odd times, so make yourself available and remind them often that you are available. Loss is not a good time for tough love, so be gentle with them. However, be careful not to go overboard and turn your gentleness into condescension. They are still the same person you’ve always known, so use your best judgement on how to interact with them.  

To be there for someone, you oftentimes just need to physically be there for them. Try saying, “I’m coming over Thursday, what would be a good time?” It’s easy to want to say the right thing to someone who is grieving, but usually the best thing to do is just listen. If they’re not ready to talk, support them in silence. And don’t forget to let them cry. Crying is a natural and even important part of grieving. Let them cry, or even cry with them.  

Its also important to not wait to be asked. Take some initiative and don’t wait for them to ask for help or company. Use your best judgement, but offer up assistance whenever you can. For example, mow their lawn, come over and make dinner, or just call to chat. Don’t try to understand and don’t judge. Even if you’ve been through a similar situation, they are unique and have a unique experience. Don’t feel burdened to try to make sense of everything for them, or to completely understand what they are thinking and feeling. Grief looks different for everyone, so don’t put your idea of what they should be doing or saying on them. Instead, meet them and accept them where they are, wherever that may be. Similarly, be lenient for perceived offences or slights. For example, let it go if they don’t call you back right away.  

Finally, just ask them what they need. Sometimes, you just won’t know how best to support them unless you ask. They might not know themselves, or they’ll tell you exactly what they need.  

Do you want to learn more about being there for someone in grief or Amboy, IL funeral homes? We have the expertise needed to help guide you through a time of loss. Call or visit us today for more information on what we can do for you in your time of loss or preplanning.  

 

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